Learning to question my thoughts instead of believing everything my mind tells me.
I recently watched a podcast about metacognition, and it got me thinking about something I have struggled with for quite some time: overthinking.
I have a habit of giving my thoughts a little too much attention. One small situation can occupy my mind for hours. I can replay a conversation, analyse someone's words, question a decision I've already made and imagine several possible outcomes of something that hasn't even happened.
Sometimes, I catch myself doing it and wonder why I'm spending so much time thinking about something I cannot change.
The frustrating part is that knowing I'm overthinking doesn't necessarily make me stop.
That's why the podcast caught my attention. It introduced me to a concept called metacognition, which is essentially the ability to think about your own thinking.
I became curious. What if I could use this approach to become more aware of my thoughts instead of allowing them to control my attention?
I decided to experiment with it.
What Is Metacognition, and Why Did It Interest Me?
Metacognition is the ability to observe, understand and reflect on your own thinking processes.
Think of it this way: ordinary thinking involves having thoughts, while metacognition involves stepping back and examining those thoughts.
For example, imagine you've sent someone a message, and they haven't responded.
Your mind might immediately start producing possibilities.
Did I say something wrong? Are they upset with me? Did I come across as rude? Should I send another message?
Before long, you've created an entire story around a message that hasn't received a reply.
Metacognition encourages you to pause and examine what's happening.
Instead of immediately accepting those thoughts, you ask yourself:
- Why am I assuming something is wrong?
- Do I have evidence to support this conclusion?
- Am I responding to what has happened or what I'm imagining?
- Is there anything useful I can do about this situation?
It doesn't mean dismissing your feelings. It means recognising that your interpretation of a situation isn't necessarily the truth.
And that distinction can make a difference.
How I'm Practising Metacognition When I Start Overthinking
I didn't want to turn this into another complicated routine. I wanted something I could practise in everyday situations.
Here are a few things I've started experimenting with.
1. Recognising When I'm Overthinking
The first step is noticing when my mind starts going in circles.
Sometimes, I find myself revisiting the same issue repeatedly, even though I'm not discovering anything new.
I've started paying attention to that moment.
I ask myself whether I'm actually trying to solve something or simply repeating the same thoughts.
There is a difference between thinking through a problem and continuously worrying about it.
Recognising that difference helps me decide what to do next.
2. Separating Facts From Assumptions
I've realised that some of the things I worry about are based on assumptions rather than facts.
For example, someone might behave differently towards me, and my mind immediately starts searching for explanations.
Perhaps they're upset. Perhaps I've done something wrong. Perhaps something has changed.
But what do I actually know?
The only fact might be that the person behaved differently.
Everything else could be an interpretation.
I'm learning to separate what I know from what I'm assuming. It helps me avoid treating every possibility as though it were already happening.
3. Questioning My Thoughts Instead of Fighting Them
One thing I find interesting about this approach is that I don't have to fight every negative thought.
I can acknowledge it without agreeing with it.
If I catch myself thinking, "I'm going to fail," I can pause and ask:
Why do I believe that? What makes me so certain? Is there another possible outcome?
This doesn't mean replacing every negative thought with forced positivity.
It simply means allowing myself to consider other perspectives instead of automatically believing the first thing my mind produces.
4. Asking Whether a Thought Is Useful
This is probably one of the questions I want to get better at asking myself.
Is this thought helping me?
Sometimes, thinking about a problem helps me identify a solution. Other times, it leaves me anxious without changing anything.
If I've already considered the situation, identified what I can do and taken the necessary action, what am I gaining by continuing to worry?
Not every problem requires hours of mental attention.
Sometimes, the most useful thing I can do is stop revisiting it.
5. Learning to Leave Some Things Unanswered
I think one of the reasons I overthink is that I want to understand things. I want explanations, certainty and reassurance that everything will work out.
But life doesn't always provide those things.
There are situations where I won't know why someone acted a certain way. There are decisions whose outcomes I cannot predict. There are things I simply cannot control.
I'm learning that I don't have to find an answer to every question immediately.
Some things can remain unresolved while I continue living my life.
I'm Learning That Not Every Thought Deserves My Attention
I am still practising. I haven't suddenly become someone who never overthinks.
There are days when I catch myself doing exactly what I'm trying to change. The difference is that I'm becoming more interested in observing the process.
I want to understand why certain thoughts occupy so much of my attention and why I sometimes give imaginary situations more energy than the things happening in front of me.
Perhaps that's where the real work begins: becoming aware of the way we think.
We spend so much time trying to understand other people, their behaviour and their intentions. Yet we don't always stop to examine our own thinking.
Why do I react this way? Why does this particular situation bother me? Why am I assuming the worst? Why am I struggling to let this go?
These are questions worth exploring.
I'm beginning to see that having a thought doesn't mean I have to believe it, act on it or spend the rest of my day entertaining it.
Sometimes, I can simply notice it, question it and move on.
And that's what I want to keep practising.
Not having a mind that never wanders, but learning how to bring it back.
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