What’s Ghosting? Why it Happens and 7 Tips to Cope with Being Ghosted

Ghosted? Their silence says more about them than you

Image via Unsplash

You've been talking to this person.

You’re getting along.

And you feel like he/she could be your perfect match.

Then one day, Poof! He/she is gone.

Your calls and texts go unanswered. And you’re left wondering; What did I do? What did I say? Why did he/she do this to me?

He/she just ghosted you.

But why? Well, there are several reasons why someone can ghost you.

And in this article I’ll help you understand what ghosting is, why it happens and tips to help you navigate the experience.

Keep reading!

What's Ghosting?

Before I give you reasons why someone would just ghost you, let's first understand what ghosting is.

Ghosting is when someone suddenly cuts off all communication without any explanation.

It's a way of ending a relationship by simply disappearing, leaving the other person confused and hurt.

This can happen in various types of relationships, including romantic connections, friendships, and even professional relationships.

Ghosting is particularly common in the digital age, where it's easy to stop responding to texts, calls, or social media messages.

7 Unspoken Reasons Why People Ghost

People ghost for various reasons.

Understanding these reasons can help provide some clarity and closure when someone ghosts you, even though it doesn't excuse their behavior.

Here are some common reasons why people ghost.

1. Avoiding Conflict

When someone ghosts you to avoid conflict, it's often because they find it difficult to confront others or deal with emotional conversations.

They might feel that any attempt to explain their feelings will lead to a heated argument or emotional distress.

This avoidance can stem from past experiences where conflicts ended poorly or from a general discomfort with emotional vulnerability.

For instance, you’re in a relationship where everything seems fine on the surface, but underneath, the other person is struggling with unresolved issues or doubts.

Instead of discussing these problems with you, they decide it's easier to vanish. This way, they don't have to face the anxiety of a potentially difficult conversation.

They avoid the immediate discomfort of seeing your hurt or disappointment, but they also deny you closure.

This method might temporarily shield them from conflict, but it creates a lingering sense of confusion and pain for you.

The lack of resolution leaves you questioning what went wrong and can damage your trust in future relationships.

By disappearing, they think they are protecting themselves, but in reality, they are creating a deeper wound that might take longer to heal.

2. Lack of Interest

When someone loses interest in a relationship, they might ghost because it seems easier than having a potentially uncomfortable conversation about their feelings.

They may feel that a direct conversation would lead to confrontation or emotional fallout, so they choose the path of least resistance—disappearing.

You might notice a gradual decline in communication, fewer texts, less enthusiasm, and eventually, complete silence.

This shift can be confusing and hurtful, especially if you were under the impression that things were going well.

The person ghosting you may think that by slowly fading away, they are sparing your feelings, but the truth is, this can be more painful than a straightforward conversation.

3. Fear of Hurting Others

Ironically, some people ghost because they believe a clean break will be less painful for the other person than a direct rejection.

They assume that disappearing will cause less hurt than an honest conversation about why they want to end the relationship.

Maybe for you everything seems to be progressing well, but the other person starts feeling that things aren’t working out.

They might think that telling you this directly would cause you significant pain and distress. To avoid seeing you hurt, they opt to vanish instead.

They convince themselves that you will gradually move on without the sting of a direct rejection.

However, this well-intentioned approach often backfires. Ghosting leaves you with no explanation, no closure, and a lot of self-doubt.

You might spend a long time wondering what you did wrong, why they left, and if you could have done something to change their mind.

The confusion and lack of closure can be more painful and prolonged than a direct conversation.

The ghoster’s attempt to protect your feelings ends up causing deeper emotional wounds.

4. Feeling Overwhelmed

If someone feels overwhelmed by their own emotions or circumstances, they might ghost to avoid dealing with their feelings or the situation.

Life can throw a lot at us—stress at work, family issues, personal crises—and sometimes it all becomes too much to handle.

In the midst of this turmoil, maintaining a relationship can feel like an added pressure. They might start to pull away, not because they don't care, but because they feel incapable of managing everything at once.

Ghosting becomes a way to retreat and protect themselves from further emotional strain.

They might think that disappearing will give them the space to deal with their own issues without the additional burden of explaining themselves to you.

For you, this sudden disappearance can be bewildering and hurtful. You’re left in the dark, not knowing if you did something wrong or if there was something you could have done to help.

The reality is that their vanishing act is more about their inability to cope with their own life challenges than it is about you or the relationship. I

t’s a self-preservation tactic that, unfortunately, leaves you feeling abandoned and confused.

5. Immaturity

Emotional immaturity can lead someone to ghost, as they lack the skills or experience to handle relationship challenges maturely.

They might not have learned how to communicate effectively, manage conflicts, or deal with complex emotions.

Let's say you’re dating someone who seems fun and engaging, but when faced with the first significant challenge or disagreement, they pull away. Instead of addressing the issue head-on, they choose to disappear.

This behavior often stems from a lack of emotional development. They might not know how to express their feelings or fears and find it easier to avoid the situation entirely.

6. Avoiding Commitment

When faced with the prospect of a deeper commitment, some individuals might ghost to escape the perceived pressure or responsibility.

Commitment can be daunting, especially if they are not ready for it or have past experiences that make them wary.

You might be in a relationship that seems to be progressing well, with talks about future plans and growing emotional intimacy.

But as these discussions become more serious, they start to feel trapped or overwhelmed.

The idea of committing to one person and the responsibilities that come with it might scare them. Instead of voicing their fears or doubts, they find it easier to disappear.

7. Personal Issues

Personal problems, such as mental health struggles or life crises, can lead someone to withdraw from relationships without explanation.

When life becomes overwhelmingly difficult, maintaining a relationship can feel impossible.

Maybe your partner is dealing with severe anxiety, depression, or a major life crisis like a family illness or job loss.

These issues can consume their mental and emotional energy, leaving little room for anything else.

In their struggle to cope, they might isolate themselves, believing that cutting off communication is the best way to manage their situation. They might not have the strength or clarity to explain what they are going through.

For you, their sudden withdrawal is baffling and painful. You might not understand the depth of their struggles and feel abandoned without cause.

The reality is that their ghosting is more about their internal battles than about you. They might think they are sparing you from their burdens or simply lack the capacity to maintain the relationship while dealing with their own issues.

Their silence leaves you in a state of uncertainty, trying to piece together what went wrong.

8. Insecurity

Insecurity and self-doubt might cause someone to ghost if they believe they aren't worthy of the relationship or fear eventual rejection.

Deep-seated insecurities can make them question their value and ability to maintain a relationship.

You might be with someone who, despite showing interest and affection, struggles with low self-esteem.

They might worry that they aren’t good enough for you or that you’ll eventually see their flaws and leave them.

This fear can lead them to preemptively end the relationship by ghosting. By disappearing, they avoid the anticipated pain of rejection.

7 Ways to Cope with Being Ghosted

Being ghosted is painful. But there are ways you can deal with the pain and come out better.

Let's get started.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

When you’ve been ghosted, it’s important to acknowledge and validate your feelings. You might feel hurt, confused, angry, or rejected.

These emotions are normal and natural responses to the sudden disappearance of someone you cared about.

Allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment. Journaling can be a helpful way to express your thoughts and process your feelings.

Talking to a trusted friend or therapist can also provide support and perspective.

2. Don’t Blame Yourself

One of the most challenging aspects of being ghosted is the tendency to blame yourself.

You might wonder what you did wrong or why you weren’t good enough. It’s crucial to remember that ghosting is a reflection of the other person’s inability to handle the situation maturely, not a reflection of your worth.

Remind yourself that their actions are about them, not you. Practice self-compassion and focus on your positive qualities and strengths.

3. Seek Closure on Your Own

Ghosting leaves you without the closure that a direct conversation provides. To find your own closure, try writing a letter to the person who ghosted you.

You don’t have to send it; the act of writing can help you articulate your feelings and find a sense of resolution.

Reflect on the relationship and what you learned from it. This can help you gain perspective and move forward.

4. Stay Busy and Distracted

Keeping yourself occupied can help take your mind off the ghosting and reduce the time spent ruminating on what happened.

Engage in activities that you enjoy and that make you feel good about yourself.

Whether it’s a hobby, exercise, spending time with friends and family, or pursuing a new interest, staying busy can provide a healthy distraction and help you regain a sense of normalcy.

5. Set Boundaries

If the person who ghosted you reappears, it’s important to set clear boundaries. Decide in advance how you want to handle any potential contact.

You might choose to ignore them, or you might decide to hear them out but be firm about what you need in terms of respect and communication.

Setting boundaries helps protect your emotional well-being and reinforces that you deserve to be treated with consideration and respect.

6. Focus on Self-Improvement

Use this time as an opportunity for personal growth and self-improvement. Reflect on your goals, values, and what you want in a relationship.

Work on building your self-esteem and confidence.

Engaging in activities that foster personal development, such as taking a class, reading, or volunteering, can help you feel more empowered and fulfilled.

7. Connect with Others

Don’t isolate yourself after being ghosted.

Reach out to friends and family for support. Share your feelings and experiences with them; talking about what happened can help you process your emotions and feel less alone.

Consider joining social groups or online communities where you can meet new people and make new connections.

Building a strong support network can help you recover from the emotional impact of being ghosted and remind you that you’re not alone.

Final Thoughts

Being ghosted can be a painful and confusing experience, but it’s important to remember that it’s a reflection of the other person’s issues, not your worth.

By acknowledging your feelings, seeking closure on your own, staying busy, setting boundaries, focusing on self-improvement, and connecting with others, you can cope with the experience and emerge stronger.

Remember, you deserve relationships with people who communicate openly and respect your feelings.

Cheers to getting better!

The Truth is, You Don’t Need Closure

Cut ties and move on without glancing back… Image via Unsplash What did I do? What did I say? What could I have done differently? Is there someone else? Can we still be friends? Can we fix this? We torture ourselves with questions when a relationship ends. We want to know the answers. We want to know why. We want to make sense of what we don’t understand. Yes, closure can help. It can bridge the gap between confusion and heartbreak. It guides us to accept the loss and find the strength to look ahead. With closure, we realize there is no turning back. There are no what-ifs. No second chance. The other person has made up their mind for the reason of x, y, and z. As much as it hurts, closure can help us turn the page and start a new chapter. But what happens if you don’t get closure? What do you do when your ex won’t communicate or has abruptly ended all contact with you? Just one day, poof — they're gone. Or your relationship ended on bad terms. You saw it coming. You knew the brea

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