The Truth is, You Don’t Need Closure

 Cut ties and move on without glancing back…

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What did I do? What did I say? What could I have done differently? Is there someone else? Can we still be friends? Can we fix this?

We torture ourselves with questions when a relationship ends. We want to know the answers. We want to know why. We want to make sense of what we don’t understand.

Yes, closure can help. It can bridge the gap between confusion and heartbreak. It guides us to accept the loss and find the strength to look ahead.

With closure, we realize there is no turning back. There are no what-ifs. No second chance. The other person has made up their mind for the reason of x, y, and z. As much as it hurts, closure can help us turn the page and start a new chapter.

But what happens if you don’t get closure? What do you do when your ex won’t communicate or has abruptly ended all contact with you? Just one day, poof — they're gone.

Or your relationship ended on bad terms. You saw it coming. You knew the breakup was bound to happen. And your ex isn’t willing to have a formal goodbye.

You’re left hanging and with no lifeline to pull you in.

Well, my love, this is where you don’t need closure.

Burn that bridge and never look back.

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If your ex won’t shed light on what went wrong, take that as the closure you need and pack it up. Yes, yes — always easier said than done. But know that sometimes you’ll never hear what you want to hear.

Breakups are not easy. They take away a part of us, a way we’ve identified. A way of being. You lose your person. Your friend, lover, confidant. It hurts. A lot.

In our pain, we want it to make sense. Because a breakup just doesn’t add up. We don’t go into a relationship thinking of the day things will end. We go in with high hopes and promises for the future waiting to unfold.

And when it crashes and burns, we have to sift through the ashes to find the answers that may or may not bring peace and understanding.

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I was a closure kind of girl. I wanted to talk about it and make a clean break. I didn’t want to have ill feelings, anger, or confusion. 

I’m not alone in this desire for closure; it's a universal longing. We all want a tidy conclusion to our love stories, a clear explanation for the heartache, a reason to make it all seem worthwhile.

But here's the thing - you don't need closure. You don't need someone else's words to heal. The human heart has an incredible capacity for resilience and regeneration. It can mend even in the absence of answers.

I discovered that not seeking closure can be an act of self-empowerment. It's a choice to relinquish the need for external validation and instead focus on nurturing your inner strength. It's an opportunity to redefine who you are, separate from the relationship that once defined you.

When we insist on closure, we place our emotional well-being in someone else's hands. We give them the power to determine when, how, and if we can move on. In contrast, choosing not to seek closure means taking back that power.

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If your ex won't provide closure, it might be because they are not capable of giving you the answers you seek, or perhaps they have unresolved issues. Trying to extract closure from an unwilling party can lead to more frustration and pain.

Moreover, not seeking closure forces you to confront the reality that life is often messy and complex. Not everything can be neatly resolved. Sometimes, relationships end because of a myriad of factors that can't be reduced to a simple explanation. It's the acknowledgment of this messiness that can lead to personal growth and resilience.

Rather than fixating on the whys and what-ifs, focus on the present and the future. Embrace the unknown, for it is in uncertainty that we often find the most profound opportunities for self-discovery. The absence of closure allows you to write your ending, to create a narrative of resilience, growth, and self-love.

It's worth remembering that closure isn't a magical elixir that instantly heals the pain of a breakup. Even with closure, you'd still have to navigate the emotional aftermath and embark on your journey of healing. So why not start that journey now, without waiting for someone else to provide the missing piece of the puzzle?

When we don't seek closure, we give ourselves the chance to let go gracefully. We liberate ourselves from the need for someone else's words to move on. We let time, self-care, and personal growth become our closure. In the process, we discover the strength we never knew we had.

There's no denying that breakups are painful. They test our emotional fortitude and resilience. But within that pain lies the potential for transformation. 

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So, my love, when you find yourself yearning for closure, take a deep breath, and realize that you have the power to heal, with or without it. 

The truth is, you don't need closure to move forward. 

You need yourself and the infinite capacity of your heart to heal and grow. 

Embrace the unknown, and you'll find a new beginning waiting for you on the other side of heartbreak.